frusterated as fucking hell…omg omg omg omg omg stress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate my life today..i really fucking hate it..pls someone tell me someone hates there life more than me today. omg omg omg omg omg shoot. me..i feel broke, i feel like theres so many fucking bills. I’m 21 and i focus more on money than having fun. im pissed because im so unorganized and i scheduled peppers vet appt for Thurs, which is my job meeting day; another thing to add to my list of things to do tomorrow…and i think she has another bladder infection..yay 60 bucks down the drain on Friday, for pills and 25 bucks for even  coming in. Oh well, at least there wont be piss all over my house, and the worst part is I cant do anything about it because she is 14, traumatized and her bladder has good days and bad,. now i understand when Sherri told me my job from here on in is to keep her happy and healthy and comfortable, and that she is not your average pet that I can train to do what i want.  your everyday pet, that is balanced is hard enough..but this is a life lesson and i will see it through. she is old, and if he pisses on the floor, not much i can do. i love her, and i know i need to follow through with rescuing her and providing her a home. i was foolish to think this would all be fun and games. its work work work, laundry, pills, vets ,worry, you give up your life to stay home and let her out every 3 hrs..but its worth it, because she has been through so much;after she passes i will take a long  break from pets and breeaathhh. down the road,   i will  hopefully get a pup i can train and make my own, but for now, my commitment is on precocious pepper.

motivation to write

I have been paying so much attention to pepper, that I managed to neglect my writing. i was in foster care from age 12-19, and i am in the process s of writing a memoir about my experience moving from home to home, a childhood of horror and humor, and how i survived being diagnosed with every mental illness under the sun. i have about a quarter of the book typed up, its just so hard to get going. i was thinking i would type it up on here, but I’m wondering if its safe, or can work be stolen, or since its my blog/web-page, it’ll be proof  it is my work…hmm. Anyone else a writer out there? where to start, and how do i start at the beginning when i started half way..ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

another day…and not much new

having a rescue dog has proven to be a bit frustrating today, i must say. i love her to bits but plsssss, how do you stop a traumatized, newly adopted dog from peeing in the house? i stood outside for 45 mins with her for pee, and she went in the house..sigghhh..life goes on.

pepper the wonder dog

the wonder dog

So, for my first official post, I am going to talk about somebody who has come into my life in the last few days. pepper is a chihuahua that came to live with me. she was rescued from a shelter in L.A mere hours before she was going to be put down. A lady(her foster mom before i adopted her) saw her right before she was going to walk out of the SPCA and decided to take her home. The only problem was, she already had 3 dogs, which is the limit in Vancouver. pepper needed a home and I was the only one who emailed, god forbid i had not  seen her up for adoption online, and she had gone back to a shelter. she had been abused and neglected. She is 14 yrs young, and chipper as can be. she is deaf, but is still a happy little angel. she teaches me to live everyday to the fullest and not focus so much on the future. i catch my self wondering, when will she die, whats the point of bonding with her if shes going to die..but why think that way, I am learning to live each day as it comes, and i believe pepper was sent here to teach me that. if you are wanting a pet, a senior animal, especially if you have a smaller home and not much time to get out for hours of exercise and walks, can be a great choice.

my first blog

this is my first blog..and i have looottss to say about life!!!! keep your eyes open for my posts!!! ill have bits and pieces of my novel up, poetry and much more..

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